


but my heart is a broken vending machine

by LilaacStars



Series: (oneshots) [4]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Identity Reveal, Love Confessions, Post Reveal, post reveal / pre relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-27 20:34:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20766560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilaacStars/pseuds/LilaacStars
Summary: Hawkmoth has been defeated.Marinette and Adrien are dealing with the aftermath.As much as they wished this was the end of their problems, they both know it will take its time.





	but my heart is a broken vending machine

**Author's Note:**

> i'm trying my best to write a lot so i think a lot of oneshots/drabbles will be coming :D
> 
> tumblr: buginettez.

The light of the vending machine is bright and white. 

It’s tetric. Titling and making buzzing sounds to accompany its strange shade of illumination. 

It makes the guy in front of it look like a resurrected corpse. 

The lights make the shadows darker, marking his features in sharp lines and though edges. His eyes are numb, the sleepless nights marked their territory under them in grey circles. His mouth is dry, and so is his usually glowy skin. 

He has aged twenty years in the spam of a night. 

She sighs and leans against the cold walls, watching his eyes scatter through the products and starting to press buttons. 

Marinette looks behind her watching the circus show happening on the main hallway. 

They have been here for hours now. 

The morning is approaching and yet nothing has changed but the colors on the corridors and the shift of the employees. 

It would all be alright (under the circumstances of course, because this situation would never be labeled as ‘alright’) if it wasn’t for the whispers. 

She has grown used to them. 

She also knows that he is used them from a very young age, but these whispers are not the ones they know by heart, the ones they can recite and then brush off because they’re not substantial no their lives. 

These whispers hurt. 

These whispers don’t expand gossip based on rumors, these whispers are sending the truth to other directions and it hurts. 

Furthermore, these whispers as quiet as they can be, don’t remain that way when they start to join, and they slowly turn to talk and talk slowly turn to screams. 

High pitched screams. 

Soon enough, those screams will turn into a note on television, radio, and newspapers. _ If they’re not already out. _

Her loud thoughts are interrupted by a rowdier sound. 

Marinette turns around to look back to the owner of her attention. Only a few seconds without looking at him were enough to let the gloomy emotions creep back to him. 

She can’t say she didn’t expect this to happen, because this is exactly what will be happening after the horrible and terrifying events that happened two nights ago, but is not the way she expects him to react. 

Adrien is hitting and kicking the vending machine, shaking it and screaming at it. 

Marinette’s stomach twists in knots. 

It is hard to see him this way. 

He’s been keeping it together as much as he can. He has cried the past two nights as she wrapped her arms around him and held him close as if she was trying to put him back together that way. He has barely tasted any kind of food, and only speaks when completely necessary, but besides these attitudes -that Marinette considers is completely and utterly expected after what he’s gone through- he hasn’t done anything to let out all the anguish and pain that is staining his heart and every thought. 

She jogs to him, he is not that far but she prefers to get there quick. 

“Adrien,” She whispers. She knows only saying his name will be enough to call his attention. 

“The stupid chocolate won’t fall!” He shouts, giving his explanation immediately. 

He hits harder, making Marinette’s stomach twist and burn as she had just swallowed acid. 

Marinette extended her arms, reaching for him but stopped midway. 

Was this the way to go?

She would never doubt it with Chat Noir, she would just go for it but… things were different now. 

Her heart makes a pirouette when her eyes find his profile. 

His features are darker than they have ever been before, nonetheless, that’s the same face she is used to seeing on patrols at night under dim light. 

This is her partner, and her partner is suffering. It’s not the time to think about all the misunderstandings, about all the times they were on the edge of falling and knowing about the other and how they escaped from it, it was not the time to talk about romantic feelings or how awkward the future talk would make her feel. 

At this moment, her partner, her teammate, her most treasured friend is right there in front of her, slowly crumbling and he doesn’t need anything else but her support. 

So, Marinette stops worrying about the small details and does what her heart orders her to do.

She reaches for him and hugs him, crossing her arms on his chest and touching his shoulders, to keep him away from the machine. 

It’s swift and as soft as she can manage it to be. 

“Shh is okay,” She whispers. She needs to stand on the point of her feet to be close to his ear and make sure she listens, “I’m here,  _ chaton _ .” 

Adrien’s arms fall languid at his side and he presses his head against the glass of the vending machine. 

A sob comes out of his lips. 

“Everybody knows now,” He mutters, “My phone is flooded with messages.”   
“Don’t read them,” Marinette says and hugs him tighter, “They’re just noisy and not worth a minute of your time.”   
“They’re all asking if I knew.”

Marinette gulps and rubs her hands against his shirt, trying to bring more comfort than the one she thinks she is giving. 

“We did know.”

“Only for a week, Adrien, and if they’re trying to imply that you knew and didn’t do anything about it, that’s the opposite of what you did.”

“I should have known before. I lived under his roof,” Adrien’s voice breaks, pitching his tune. 

“No, no. You shouldn’t have, it wasn’t your responsibility.”

“It literally was, Marinette. I was given the responsibility in the form of a ring.”

“He was smart, he fooled us. Please don’t put the blame on you.”

“But I knew,” Adrien hits the vending machine again, making them tremble. 

“And we did something about it.  _ You _ did something about it.” She reminds him. He needs to remember that he had the choice to walk away, to betray her and go to his father and yet he decided to stay, to fight with her against his own blood. 

“I…”   
“Yes?”   
“I knew,” He says it again, but she can tell this time it has a different meaning. 

She only answers, “I know.”

“Then why…” Adrien takes a deep breath. 

“Yes?” Marinette says, leaving a kiss on top of his shoulder blade. 

“ _ Why is it so hard? _ ” 

She feels tempted to ask him to deep digger on that. To explain to her what he is really feeling, what is so hard for him to process. The fact that his father is Hawkmoth? The fact that he never suspected? The fact that he had to fight him face to face even after he lost his ring to him? 

The fact that Hawkmoth was only two seconds of killing her and… No, she will not think about that last part. It is too much to unwrap and she needs to calm Adrien down, she won’t be able if she starts thinking about the chain of events of the battle. 

“I don’t know,” She finally says, “I wish I had an answer for you.”

They stay in silence after that. 

The beat of their hears mixes with the buzz of the vending machine. 

Adrien’s hands find hers and he squeezes before turning around and meeting her gaze. 

“Let’s go home.” 

Marinette blinks swiftly in surprise. 

“Are you sure?” It had been Adrien’s idea to visit tonight. 

“Yes, I… I think I’m going to come back tomorrow but we’ve been here hours without doing much than waiting outside his door, watching the police and sulk… the dawn is about to happen in a minute or two.”

“I’ll say it already begun,” Marinette points out at the window closest to them. 

“Ah.” 

He looks down and a shadow crosses his eyes. 

“It’ll be fine, Adrien,” Marinette assures him, “Not soon but one day it’ll be fine.”

“How are you so sure?” Adrien’s tone is a bit hostile. 

She doesn’t take it personally. 

“Because I know you, you’ll make it out of this and I’ll be here to help whenever you need me to.”

His eyes open up like the skies are doing now. 

“You’ll stay with me?” 

“What kind of question is that?” She asks before processing how reprimanding she sounds, “Of course I’ll stay with you.”

“Even after… after finding out who I am?” 

Marinette scoffs. 

“Do you like me less after finding out who I am under the mask?” She knows the answer, but she needs him to hear it.

“No,” Adrien shakes his head, “I love you just the same, maybe even more.”

Her breathe gets stuck on her throat by his selection of words. 

“It’s the same for me,” She answers, too nervous to repeat his words but he deserves to know that she also feels it. 

Adrien looks down, blush splashing all over his cheeks and the most real smile she has seen on him in these three days. He got the message, loud and clear. 

“Let’s go home,” Marinette offers him her hand, “Let’s take a walk around the city. We can’t use the miraculous and go through the roofs but I’m sure the city can be just as fun on the streets,”

He looks up and the small sign of the smile still lingers on his lips. 

“Everything is fun when you’re with me.”

She doesn’t answer with words but by taking his hand and dragging him out of the hospital. 

Only two blocks down the road Adrien stops and watches the sun peak through the roofs. 

“Adrien?” 

“You said you were going to stay with me and help,” He begins.

“Yes, I did,” She reassures him. 

“I love you.” 

She knows, however she doesn’t understand why does he need to say it now, so out of the blue.

“I love you with every piece of my heart, I want you to remember that,” Adrien sighs, “I know it will take a while and that I won’t be the same, because damn, I don’t feel like myself at all but if there’s one thing I’m sure is that I love you and I want to have you forever in my life, no matter how I just want you in the ways you decided to. However, I don’t want you to think that I started loving you after you helped me or after all the support I know you’re going to give me. I need you to know that I love you for you and not for what you’re about to do for me. Don’t put that face,” He lifts one finger at her, “You know is true.”

It  _ is _ true. 

“So, Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” He says, approaching her and cupping her cheeks, “I want you to know that you’re the love of my life and as much as I would like to fully pursue you at this very moment, I can’t, I know that I can’t. I need to be okay and be stable to be a good man to you, and just by my awful reaction at that poor vending machine, I know that I’m not. So I won’t pursue you, I won’t confess to you, but I will keep loving you. Understand?”

Marinette nods euphorically. 

“Great. Now, one last thing.” Adrien pulls her hand and brings it to his lips, leaving a soft kiss. 

“No more hand kisses?” Marinette whispers softly. 

“I can’t promise that,” He shrugs, making her laugh. “Now, since I didn’t get my chocolate bar, would you like to accompany me to buy something?”

“I’m sure my father will have something for us. He must be on the kitchen of the bakery already.” 

“Will he give us something?”

“I’m sure he won’t mind sharing a few baking goods with his lovely daughter and his future son-in-law,”

That last phrase makes Adrien go in the brightest shade of pink, it looks like he has been sunburnt. 

She laughs and starts walking fast, with him following her at a slower pace. 

As much as she wants to be beside him, his words are echoing on her mind. 

His speech was beautiful but also hurtful, not because she won’t be able to have him but because it implicitly let her know how deep down broken he feels. 

She separates herself from him so she can think in peace, so she can gather her thoughts and start planning. 

He’ll heal, she wasn’t lying about it. 

She’ll heal too, she’ll make it through. 

They would heal because they would be together and then they would  _ be together _ and finally be happy as they always deserved. 

Today was only an example of that. Adrien had been at his lowest and yet had found a way to be himself again, no matter how much he didn’t feel like himself, she knew he was there. 

It was only a matter of waiting. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr: buginettez


End file.
